Using a Swimsuit Edition-esque model, ESPN Magazine has released its Body Issue, featuring athletes in various stages of undress.

Poker gets its due, with this picture of Scotty Nguyen, Jennifer Harman, Phil Hellmuth and Daniel Negreanu. 

I have no beef with the magazine’s selection. I feel our fearless foursome pretty much represent the field of poker. And I’m glad the magazine didn’t cherry pick among the Vanessa Roussos and Patrik Antoniuses. (I do kinda wish they picked Doyle — I just think that woulda been perfect)  

There are two things that non-poker players will learn from this photo. The first is that poker is a “big tent” game. This is the only co-ed photo in ESPN’s feature. Unlike other sports, both genders go tits to balls at the poker table.  The second thing they will learn is that poker is a sedentary sport.

But we already knew all that.

Although Hellmuth’s man boobs (how many times do I have to see them in my lifetime?) do hammer home the point…well maybe both points.

And it’s hardly the first time I’ve seen bare skin at the table. Poker players don’t wear skimpy tennis togs or bathing suits in their quest, but we often get to see more of them than we might wish.  

To prove my point, I’ve put together my own body issue of sorts — shots that will be familiar to anyone who has watched live poker. 

I’m not going to reveal my subjects’ names, but feel free to guess. All are well known professional players.

I guess there’s another reason why I’m not taken aback by naked poker players this month. Consider it bad timing — but naked poker players are being upstaged.

I know Patty and Selma are pretty hot properties. But this month, Marge is proving she’s the pick of the Bouvier litter. I know some older women felt sexually validated when Vicki LaMotta posed for Playboy at age 51. Now that Marge has bared all, frizzy-haired women are going to be strutting their stuff with new confidence.